My Modest Proposal

This post is considered SATIRE. I do not truly feel it is appropriate that popular culture figures such as Eminem, Howard Stern, or Oprah Winfrey should speak at a church conference, but given the overview of the Humana Conference, this writer thinks some of these figures might fit in perfectly in that setting.--R.A.

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To All Subcultural Architects: My Modest Proposal

Humana, a conference in Orlando Florida, has come and gone. I understand that it was a great week. Its overview statement mentioned that its purpose was to "create environments that expand imagination and unleash creativity." As I scan some of the names of the keynote speakers, I am dismayed. Who are these people? Sure, I’ve heard of one of the speakers; I’ve reviewed some of his books and he considers himself a "futurist" and "cultural architect." But you can hardly say Erwin McManus has registered much with the overall culture at large. If you put all the people of his Mosaic churches in one big room, how many would that be, 3,000 people? Okay, I’ll spot you his Mosaic Inland, Mosaic New York and Seattle and all the other Mosaics sprouting up on our landscape. How many heads is that total? I’ll be generous: 10,000? That’s a good number for a church but nothing compared to the amount of people who saw "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" last weekend. Total box office: $25 million. His book sales do brisk business in Christian bookstores but he might as well sell books out of his car trunk when you compare him to that cultural phenomenon Mitch Albom. His Tuesdays with Morrie has eleven million copies in print. From this we can conclude that McManus and others like him, such as the speakers at Humana and Origins Los Angeles conference, are not cultural architects but more like subcultural architects. They are not reaching the culture but a culture within the culture: the Christian market. McManus is great at preaching to the choir but what about the unchurched, non-Christian culture? To these, McManus is completely irrelevant. Well, irrelevant is a relative term. Most people have never even heard of him. Larry King is irrelevant. Jean Claude Van Damme is irrelevant. Yes, Erwin is a big fish in a very small pond, indeed. If Humana is going to have any significant and lasting impact in the world it needs to feature real transformers of our culture rather than icons of the subculture. My modest proposal is that we have the architects that unleash "imagination, and creativity" upon our culture come and speak at Humana/Origins. Who are these people? Here is my list. If you want to add to my partial list, feel free to add your comments.
FILM
Zack Snyder (Director) Yes, I realize he’s only made two major features but his "300" was made on the cheap and it did boffo box office. Every studio wants to work with him and his upcoming "Watchmen" is eagerly anticipated. He would be a welcome addition to Humana/Origins because he is such a hip cat.
Jonathan Nolan (Screenwriter) His work includes "Memento," "The Prestige" and the upcoming "Dark Knight." He might not have a great time at Humana, however, because he’s the bookish, "intellectual" type. But he is hot in the industry right now.
TV
Oprah Winfrey(Talk Show Host) You cannot overstate Oprah’s impact on culture. Her recommendation of William Faulkner’s Light in August shot it to the New York Times bestseller list even though the book was written over eighty years ago. Oprah would fit in nicely at Humana.
Rupert Murdoch(CEO) Few believed he could do it, but he has turned his Fox TV channel into a force with monster hits like "American Idol" and "24." He also owns the runaway ratings leader Fox News Channel. His non-TV entities include 20th Century Fox, the New York Post, and My Space. An argument can be made that he is the cultural architect of our day. He may not want to come to Humana but he could bankroll the whole thing.
MUSIC
Eminem (Rap Artist) His "Marshall Mathers LP" and "8Mile" were not only monster hits but a cultural phenomenon that influenced the worlds of music, movies, and even fashion. He might not make such a good choice for a keynote speaker at Humana, though.
U2 (Rock Band) Album after album, they continue to sell. Everything they do goes platinum and they would make a great worship team at Humana.
RADIO
Rush Limbaugh (Talk Show Host) No matter what you think of his politics, he is an absolute giant in his field. He is considered by many as the man who saved AM radio and he spawned a legion of influences that can be heard daily on the radio. He would be a natural speaker at Humana since he is so comfortable behind a mic.
Howard Stern (Talk Show Host) Another huge influence in the world of broadcasting and he even ventured successfully in the worlds of film, books, and TV. He might be reminded of the speech guidelines if he is asked to speak at Humana.
COMPUTERS
Bill Gates (CEO) Enough said.
Steve Jobs (CEO) His company gave us Apple, Pixar, and the Ipod. At Humana, he would feel comfortable with some of the tech-speak, but when talk turns to the "mystic," he’s outta there.

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EdfromBocaRaton said:
No list of cultural architects is complete without the name Steven Spielberg. What were you thinking?

Ruben said:
Ed, I also left off David Geffen and Jeffrey Katzenberg of Dreamworks. I didn’t have the temerity to list these in the presence of us mere mortals.

Anonymous said:
I think you’ve misunderstood the ministry of Erwin. He is trying to stir passionate followers of Jesus Christ. Humana is a conference that attempts to awaken those followers to unleash their creative impulses through art, dance, and leadership. Erwin has been a key figure in that movement.

Ruben said:
And you’ve misunderstood my point. We need to get serious about reaching our culture. I’ve provided a list of the very people who are doing so. Erwin and the other keynote speakers at Humana might be important in your cloistered Christian circles but so what? His following is scattered and few compared to the true architects of the day. To say Erwin is a key figure in the movement is like saying the hot dog guy at Dodger stadium is the one garnering all the attention. While it is true that there are ten people clamoring around the guy for a Dodger Dog, 50, 000 people came to watch the real stars: Derek Lowe, Jeff Kent, and Rafael Furcal.

Jenny said:
Your suggestion that Howard Stern speak at Humana is disgusting. Stern is a foul-mouthed ignoramus.

Ruben said:
When Stern signed with Sirius radio he sent shares of their stock skyrocketing. He has millions of loyal listeners. What have you done for the culture lately?

John said:
My pastor Phil Stein teaches us the Bible on Sundays and apologetics on Wednesdays. Though the congregation is small (about fifty members), we owe a deep gratitude to his ministry. He has to supplement his income through odd jobs like maintenance and plumbing. So what if his ministry is "irrelevant" in your eyes? He preaches Christ and Him crucified. That’s what matters.

Ruben said:
Who is this Phil Stein? I’ve never heard of him.

JerrydeCovina said:
You might want to consider I Corinthians, my friend. The word of the cross is foolish to those who are perishing. But it is still the power of God. You are beating your head against the wall if you think the message of the cross is going to impact the culture as a whole the way Oprah Winfrey or Rupert Murdoch has. The church may have created certain inroads into culture in the past with the "The Passion of the Christ" movie and the "Purpose-Driven" book but those are exceptions. The message of Christ will always be unpopular to this secular culture. I have a question for you: where in the Bible does it say we need to impact our culture?

Ruben said:
Um, I’ve run out of time, I must be going…